Going out!
I’m heading out for a bit, but I will be back later tonight.
As always, feel free to fill up my ask box while I’m away. :)
Take care.
August 2011
Reblog if abuse has touched your life in some way.
Sometimes, being abused can cause strange things to happen to your mind. Some people I know deal with their past by hiding from their pain, running from the truth.
Some of these poor souls remind me of someone victimized in a bank robbery, in which the robber told them to lie down on the ground and said “DON’T EVER GET UP OR I’LL KILL YOU,” and the poor soul believed him. So she/he laid there while the robber left, not looking up, and they laid there for 24 hours… then 3 days… then 35 years… getting by, eating bugs off the sidewalk, begging for food, scared to move. Scared to defy what they had been told.
Sometimes, the voices of your abusers become your own thoughts, your thoughts about yourself.
Sometimes, we hurt ourselves because we believed them when they told us it was our fault.
Sometimes the barriers in our minds replicate our own childhood prisons because we are not brave enough to look out for them by looking honestly at our own past, our own pain, shame and fear. Because we are not brave enough to look at the ugly, awful truth of our experience.
So I say to you, as a survivor with many scars, internal and external - don’t be afraid of the truth, face it! Only by opening our eyes to the past can we avoid repeating it. Join with me and open your eyes!
Hey, let me just say that I really admire your blog. I made a post about facing your past when it comes to being abused that I thought might help some of your followers. Take a look if you have a moment? Thank you. For everything.
Hello. =)
Thank you very much! I really appreciate that you took the time to write to me, and it means a lot to hear this.
I read your post and think that it’s very good. I will reblog it for others to see. :)
I’m always here if you ever want to talk!
Take care. <3
“Just because you are trying does not mean recovery comes easy. It’s a battle. Yet in the end what you have accomplished and the happiness is worth all the struggles.”
—Anonymously, mental illness survivor (via mentally-ill-strong-will)
Thank you. I suppose I should explain my situation so maybe it will make more sense. I've already been hospitalized like 13 times, and into a residential once. I really don't want to go back to those places. I tried tellng my dad I'm suicidal, but when I do he's like "we're going to the ER." I've attempted suicide 3 times. In the past when I have felt suicidal it has lasted a day or two. This has been going on for over a week. I don't know if I have that much fight left it me.
Hey again. =)
Well, I think that it is very worrying that the suicidal feelings have been lasting for so much longer than they had in the past.
I know that you said that you don’t want to go back to those places, and it sounds like you don’t want to go to the ER, but maybe it’d be for the best. It’s up to you though. I’m not going to try to talk you into anything, but I just hope that you’ll consider giving it another chance and really being open-minded about it.
I just really would reiterate some of the things I said in my last response to you… Just try to ask yourself some questions and figure out what there is in life that is worth living for, as there always is something, even if it’s very hard to identify.
Whenever I am talking to someone who’s very suicidal, I always wish that I had something to say or do that could change things for them and make them feel better and make them change their minds, but there really isn’t anything. There aren’t any quick fixes or magic words, unfortunately, as much as I’d like for there to be.
It’s just something you’ll have to gradually work toward. I would suggest not isolating yourself or withdrawing from life, as tempting as it might be. I would also suggest trying to add some new things to your life: people, hobbies, interests, jobs, volunteer work, sports, art, etc. The more active you are, the less time you’ll have alone to your thoughts and the better you’ll likely feel. It’s hard to be active when you’re so low, I know, but it’s all anyone could ask of you.
I hope that you’ll be able to find something that will work for you and that things will look up for you soon. Hopefully this will pass.
I am always here if you ever want to talk more. :)
Please take care. <3
Good night!
As always, feel free to fill up my ask box while I’m away.
Take care. :)
If any of my followers live in the area where Hurricane Irene is hitting, I hope you all stay safe. I love you guys.
what psych classes have you taken?
Hello. =)
In high school I took AP Psychology.
So far in college/university, I’ve taken Intro to Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, Psychology in Film, and Social Psychology.
Right now I’m taking Behavioral Psychology and Clinical Psychology.
I didn’t take as many psych classes at first because my original major was something totally different (Computer Science). :)
hiya
First off your blog is great! You give really good advice. How did you learn so much about it all? Also, I help quite a lot of people and would like to on my blog,any tips on how I get started? Also, thanks for liking my first blog post and following me! :)
submitted by georgia
—
Hello!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you saying that. :)
A lot of what I say is coming from experience, as I’ve dealt with a lot of the things people write to me about (self-harm, depression, anxiety, disordered eating, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, etc), and I can use that to try to imagine what it’s like to deal with some of the things they write to me about that I haven’t experienced.
I’ve also been very interested in psychology—particularly abnormal and clinical—for a long time. I’ve done a lot of reading on my own time, and I’ve taken quite a few classes so far in university. That’s where I’ve gotten my more technical or scientific background.
I’d love to give some tips!
-Try to relate to the person who’s writing to you. Don’t say that you know exactly what it’s like, but try to draw from your own experiences so they feel less alone. Feeling less alone is a big part of what people often want when they reach out.
-Always remain non-judgmental. Even if someone throws something a little ‘strange’ or controversial at you, try not to let any judgments show through. I’ve gotten some more colorful messages on here before, but I’ve always tried to remain non-judgmental. If you start being negatively judgmental, they won’t really want to talk to you or listen to you, and understandably so.
-If you want more people to be aware of your blog, reblog stuff that seems relevant to your blog or go around and ‘like’ posts which people make. I go through tags like #self harm and read people’s posts and ‘like’ them so they know that I’m here. Some people like to go around and advertise themselves in ask boxes, and that’s fine, but it’s never been my style. I would rather be less direct as I don’t want to come off as pushy.
-Speaking of reblogging things, try to reblog things that you think would be helpful to your followers. I like to reblog (non-triggering) things about self-harm, depression, eating disorders, mental illness, etc. I like to focus on recovery, personally.
-Try to be encouraging but not cliche. People like to be encouraged, but they don’t want to hear the same tired cliches (vague statements like “it’ll get better”) or else they might think that you don’t really care or aren’t really listening.
-Try to compliment people when you can. Positive thoughts and a boost to the self-esteem are really important.
If you want more, I can certainly come up with more. Good luck with your blog. :)
I’m always here if you ever want to talk! Take care. <3
I love what you're doing. It's people like you that saves lives. Ever since my depression got bad Ive been wanting to reach out to others that are depressed. Seems that's what you did too?
Hello. =)
Thank you so much for writing to me and saying that! It means a lot, truly.
It’s great that you’ve wanted to reach out to people. :) I came from a very similar place, yeah. A few life events made my depression and self-harm worse in the last couple of years, and I decided that I wanted to try to help others along the way.
If you ever want to talk about anything at all, I’m always here! :)
Take care. <3
omg you like elliott smith!!
Hello. =)
Haha, yes, indeed I do! I’m a bit obsessed, to be frank. I assume that you do too? Very cool. :)
“Physical illness is sad and everyone bands together to help whoever may be ill. Mental illness is equally as sad but instead of banding together people draw away. Just because you can not see the demons I fight off every day does not mean I don’t need support.”
—Anonymous, a survivor. (via mentally-ill-strong-will)
there was a 1st part haha but what you responded to the second part like helped aloooooooooooooooooooot. the 1st part was just reasons why im doing what im doing. But seriously it means soo much to me what you wrote thank you like beyond words. <3
I’m really, really glad to hear that it helped! :) I sincerely do wish you luck with everything and hope that you’ll feel better, and, again, I am always here if you want to talk more. :) I hope that you’re having a nice weekend! <3
okay 2/2 sorry! the idea of just a hand full of pills and being gone seems so good. but ive never really taken enough ive taken probably like ... i just needed one more and id be gone. but i never seem to go through with it..i always just end up starving myself for like a week then i eat everything i can. & also keep my self from sleeping idk why i just think i dont deserve it? im not sure but i wont sleep or eat. and ill just cut myself. its a different pain...a better pain.
Hello. =) From the look of the beginning of your message, it sounds like you wrote two to me (due to the character limit, I imagine), but this is the only one I received. =/ If you’d like to write more on another message, just let me know which anon you are and I’d be happy to write more back to you. =)
Anyway, I will respond to what I’ve received, and if I’ve assumed incorrectly and this is the only message you sent, then just ignore everything I’ve said! Haha.
It sounds like you’re feeling really self-destructive and perhaps depressed. I’m not sure why, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It sounds like you are going through a lot and want it all to stop, which is why you think of suicidal gestures, but you don’t fully go through with them because you don’t actually want to die—you just want the unpleasant aspects of life to stop. They can stop, but it might take a lot of work.
Firstly, you’ll want to identify and work on the reason(s) why you do these things to yourself. It sounds like it might be coming from a place of self-loathing. To work on that, you have to start recognizing your positive traits rather than your flaws and focus on the positive traits more. I know that you might be thinking, “but I don’t have any positive traits,” but that is false. You might not be able to see them very easily, but you do have them. We all do, just like we all have flaws too. If you are having a hard time thinking of your positive traits on your own, you could ask the people in your life why they like you, and perhaps that could help you. As for the flaws, you have two options: work on them or accept them. Either is fine as long as you do eventually come to a point of acceptance. It’s okay to not have all perfect body parts or personality traits—no one is perfect. If there are some things about yourself you’d like to change, then maybe doing so would make you feel better about yourself. I’m not really referring to weight, but rather to more individual things.
Working on that could help to decrease the self-destructive behaviors, which could also help to decrease the suicidal thoughts.
You might also want to try to recognize some reasons why you want to live and keep going. There are some in everyone, even if it might feel like you don’t have any. They just might be harder to find at the moment. Ask yourself “what would I miss if I were dead?” The answer to that can help you to find some of your biggest motivators.
It sounds like one of your largest obstacles will be coming to terms with the fact that you DO deserve to be happier and to treat yourself better and to live a nice life. That goes along with working on the self-loathing which I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago. You really do deserve to feel better. I hope that you can agree with that someday soon.
This will all take some effort and it will likely be a gradual and potentially slow process, but that’s just how it has to be, really. It’s hard, but it’ll be worth it.
Whenever I am feeling really down or like I want to do something drastic, I say to myself, “This is the only time I’ll have this life as I know it. Am I really ready to give up on it?” and I always end up saying no, even if most of me does want to give up.
I think that it’d be a good idea for you to consider reaching out to someone in your life about what you’ve been doing and experiencing. Think of the person (or people) you trust the most, and start with her/him/them. I know that it is scary to open up about these kinds of things, but it is also really important to have support through the tough times. If you are interested in seeking professional help, then I would recommend that as well. It could likely benefit you.
If you are ever feeling like you are going to do something drastic, please tell someone in your life, call a helpline, or go to the Emergency Room. I would hate for your health or life to be compromised, and I think you would too.
I really hope that you’ll be able to find some things that will work for you as well as some reasons to take care of yourself and keep living. I hope that things will improve for you.
I’m always here if you ever want to talk more. :)
Take care. <3
Like the person before me I do the breastfeeding thing with my boyfriend. Only difference is I have no maternal feelings, I actually HATE children. I see him as a child. When I broke up with him he acted very childishly, ignoring my existance, taunting, threw a tantrum or two from what I've heard since. I ended up back with him. Now I'm finding that I can't stand him cause it's either sexual or me acting motherly. He's a needy child with the intelligence of a man. How do I break up with him?
Hello. =)
I think that you really just need to make him fully aware of how you see him. Either he doesn’t realize how he comes across, or he doesn’t care. In either case, he can change, but it’s up to him, of course, and if he isn’t willing, then you shouldn’t stick around.
It sounds like you’re just exhausted, though, and want to break up with him rather than try to work things out…at least, that is what I am getting from your message.
Really, I think that you should just be straight-forward and honest with him. Tell him exactly why you want to break up and why you’re tired of the relationship. Be honest without being mean, of course, and just tell him that you no longer want to pursue the relationship. Especially in this case, as you said that he’s very childish and needy, it’s very important to be as direct as you can be. Don’t beat around the bush or try to skirt the issues. Let him know exactly where you stand and what you want to do (break up, in this case). If you are too vague, he might try to exploit that and make it harder for you to break up with him…though any break-up is difficult.
I wish you luck and hope that you’ll be able to break up with him successfully and in a way that hurts both of you the least.
I’m always here if you ever want to talk more. :)
Take care. <3
Eating Disorder Recovery Support Group
http://edrecoverysupport.tumblr.com/
I am setting up a skype support group for people recovering from eating disorders so we can chat & help each other out :) Please message me with your skype name if you would like to be involved <3
submitted by findinghappiness-overcomingana
—
This sounds great!
Thanks so much for submitting it to me and sharing it with everyone. :)
<3
i saw on here the other day that it's been 3-4 months since you last cut. if you relapsed, would you tell us?
Hello. =)
I wouldn’t make a post to announce it, but I would be honest if someone asked me.
So far I have not relapsed. :)
I’m always here if you ever want to talk!
Take care. <3
