Sometimes, being abused can cause strange things to happen to your mind. Some people I know deal with their past by hiding from their pain, running from the truth.
Some of these poor souls remind me of someone victimized in a bank robbery, in which the robber told them to lie down on the ground and said “DON’T EVER GET UP OR I’LL KILL YOU,” and the poor soul believed him. So she/he laid there while the robber left, not looking up, and they laid there for 24 hours… then 3 days… then 35 years… getting by, eating bugs off the sidewalk, begging for food, scared to move. Scared to defy what they had been told.
Sometimes, the voices of your abusers become your own thoughts, your thoughts about yourself.
Sometimes, we hurt ourselves because we believed them when they told us it was our fault.
Sometimes the barriers in our minds replicate our own childhood prisons because we are not brave enough to look out for them by looking honestly at our own past, our own pain, shame and fear. Because we are not brave enough to look at the ugly, awful truth of our experience.
So I say to you, as a survivor with many scars, internal and external - don’t be afraid of the truth, face it! Only by opening our eyes to the past can we avoid repeating it. Join with me and open your eyes!
Hey, let me just say that I really admire your blog. I made a post about facing your past when it comes to being abused that I thought might help some of your followers. Take a look if you have a moment? Thank you. For everything.
Thank you very much! I really appreciate that you took the time to write to me, and it means a lot to hear this.
I read your post and think that it’s very good. I will reblog it for others to see. :)
“Just because you are trying does not mean recovery comes easy. It’s a battle. Yet in the end what you have accomplished and the happiness is worth all the struggles.”—Anonymously, mental illness survivor (via mentally-ill-strong-will)
Thank you. I suppose I should explain my situation so maybe it will make more sense. I've already been hospitalized like 13 times, and into a residential once. I really don't want to go back to those places. I tried tellng my dad I'm suicidal, but when I do he's like "we're going to the ER." I've attempted suicide 3 times. In the past when I have felt suicidal it has lasted a day or two. This has been going on for over a week. I don't know if I have that much fight left it me.
Hey again. =)
Well, I think that it is very worrying that the suicidal feelings have been lasting for so much longer than they had in the past.
I know that you said that you don’t want to go back to those places, and it sounds like you don’t want to go to the ER, but maybe it’d be for the best. It’s up to you though. I’m not going to try to talk you into anything, but I just hope that you’ll consider giving it another chance and really being open-minded about it.
I just really would reiterate some of the things I said in my last response to you… Just try to ask yourself some questions and figure out what there is in life that is worth living for, as there always is something, even if it’s very hard to identify.
Whenever I am talking to someone who’s very suicidal, I always wish that I had something to say or do that could change things for them and make them feel better and make them change their minds, but there really isn’t anything. There aren’t any quick fixes or magic words, unfortunately, as much as I’d like for there to be.
It’s just something you’ll have to gradually work toward. I would suggest not isolating yourself or withdrawing from life, as tempting as it might be. I would also suggest trying to add some new things to your life: people, hobbies, interests, jobs, volunteer work, sports, art, etc. The more active you are, the less time you’ll have alone to your thoughts and the better you’ll likely feel. It’s hard to be active when you’re so low, I know, but it’s all anyone could ask of you.
I hope that you’ll be able to find something that will work for you and that things will look up for you soon. Hopefully this will pass.
I am always here if you ever want to talk more. :)
First off your blog is great! You give really good advice. How did you learn so much about it all? Also, I help quite a lot of people and would like to on my blog,any tips on how I get started? Also, thanks for liking my first blog post and following me! :)
submitted by georgia
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you saying that. :)
A lot of what I say is coming from experience, as I’ve dealt with a lot of the things people write to me about (self-harm, depression, anxiety, disordered eating, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, etc), and I can use that to try to imagine what it’s like to deal with some of the things they write to me about that I haven’t experienced.
I’ve also been very interested in psychology—particularly abnormal and clinical—for a long time. I’ve done a lot of reading on my own time, and I’ve taken quite a few classes so far in university. That’s where I’ve gotten my more technical or scientific background.
I’d love to give some tips!
-Try to relate to the person who’s writing to you. Don’t say that you know exactly what it’s like, but try to draw from your own experiences so they feel less alone. Feeling less alone is a big part of what people often want when they reach out.
-Always remain non-judgmental. Even if someone throws something a little ‘strange’ or controversial at you, try not to let any judgments show through. I’ve gotten some more colorful messages on here before, but I’ve always tried to remain non-judgmental. If you start being negatively judgmental, they won’t really want to talk to you or listen to you, and understandably so.
-If you want more people to be aware of your blog, reblog stuff that seems relevant to your blog or go around and ‘like’ posts which people make. I go through tags like #self harm and read people’s posts and ‘like’ them so they know that I’m here. Some people like to go around and advertise themselves in ask boxes, and that’s fine, but it’s never been my style. I would rather be less direct as I don’t want to come off as pushy.
-Speaking of reblogging things, try to reblog things that you think would be helpful to your followers. I like to reblog (non-triggering) things about self-harm, depression, eating disorders, mental illness, etc. I like to focus on recovery, personally.
-Try to be encouraging but not cliche. People like to be encouraged, but they don’t want to hear the same tired cliches (vague statements like “it’ll get better”) or else they might think that you don’t really care or aren’t really listening.
-Try to compliment people when you can. Positive thoughts and a boost to the self-esteem are really important.
If you want more, I can certainly come up with more. Good luck with your blog. :)
I’m always here if you ever want to talk! Take care. <3
I love what you're doing. It's people like you that saves lives. Ever since my depression got bad Ive been wanting to reach out to others that are depressed. Seems that's what you did too?
Thank you so much for writing to me and saying that! It means a lot, truly.
It’s great that you’ve wanted to reach out to people. :) I came from a very similar place, yeah. A few life events made my depression and self-harm worse in the last couple of years, and I decided that I wanted to try to help others along the way.
If you ever want to talk about anything at all, I’m always here! :)
“Physical illness is sad and everyone bands together to help whoever may be ill. Mental illness is equally as sad but instead of banding together people draw away. Just because you can not see the demons I fight off every day does not mean I don’t need support.”—Anonymous, a survivor. (via mentally-ill-strong-will)
there was a 1st part haha but what you responded to the second part like helped aloooooooooooooooooooot. the 1st part was just reasons why im doing what im doing. But seriously it means soo much to me what you wrote thank you like beyond words. <3
I’m really, really glad to hear that it helped! :) I sincerely do wish you luck with everything and hope that you’ll feel better, and, again, I am always here if you want to talk more. :) I hope that you’re having a nice weekend! <3
okay 2/2 sorry! the idea of just a hand full of pills and being gone seems so good. but ive never really taken enough ive taken probably like ... i just needed one more and id be gone. but i never seem to go through with it..i always just end up starving myself for like a week then i eat everything i can. & also keep my self from sleeping idk why i just think i dont deserve it? im not sure but i wont sleep or eat. and ill just cut myself. its a different pain...a better pain.
Hello. =) From the look of the beginning of your message, it sounds like you wrote two to me (due to the character limit, I imagine), but this is the only one I received. =/ If you’d like to write more on another message, just let me know which anon you are and I’d be happy to write more back to you. =)
Anyway, I will respond to what I’ve received, and if I’ve assumed incorrectly and this is the only message you sent, then just ignore everything I’ve said! Haha.
It sounds like you’re feeling really self-destructive and perhaps depressed. I’m not sure why, and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It sounds like you are going through a lot and want it all to stop, which is why you think of suicidal gestures, but you don’t fully go through with them because you don’t actually want to die—you just want the unpleasant aspects of life to stop. They can stop, but it might take a lot of work.
Firstly, you’ll want to identify and work on the reason(s) why you do these things to yourself. It sounds like it might be coming from a place of self-loathing. To work on that, you have to start recognizing your positive traits rather than your flaws and focus on the positive traits more. I know that you might be thinking, “but I don’t have any positive traits,” but that is false. You might not be able to see them very easily, but you do have them. We all do, just like we all have flaws too. If you are having a hard time thinking of your positive traits on your own, you could ask the people in your life why they like you, and perhaps that could help you. As for the flaws, you have two options: work on them or accept them. Either is fine as long as you do eventually come to a point of acceptance. It’s okay to not have all perfect body parts or personality traits—no one is perfect. If there are some things about yourself you’d like to change, then maybe doing so would make you feel better about yourself. I’m not really referring to weight, but rather to more individual things.
Working on that could help to decrease the self-destructive behaviors, which could also help to decrease the suicidal thoughts.
You might also want to try to recognize some reasons why you want to live and keep going. There are some in everyone, even if it might feel like you don’t have any. They just might be harder to find at the moment. Ask yourself “what would I miss if I were dead?” The answer to that can help you to find some of your biggest motivators.
It sounds like one of your largest obstacles will be coming to terms with the fact that you DO deserve to be happier and to treat yourself better and to live a nice life. That goes along with working on the self-loathing which I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago. You really do deserve to feel better. I hope that you can agree with that someday soon.
This will all take some effort and it will likely be a gradual and potentially slow process, but that’s just how it has to be, really. It’s hard, but it’ll be worth it.
Whenever I am feeling really down or like I want to do something drastic, I say to myself, “This is the only time I’ll have this life as I know it. Am I really ready to give up on it?” and I always end up saying no, even if most of me does want to give up.
I think that it’d be a good idea for you to consider reaching out to someone in your life about what you’ve been doing and experiencing. Think of the person (or people) you trust the most, and start with her/him/them. I know that it is scary to open up about these kinds of things, but it is also really important to have support through the tough times. If you are interested in seeking professional help, then I would recommend that as well. It could likely benefit you.
If you are ever feeling like you are going to do something drastic, please tell someone in your life, call a helpline, or go to the Emergency Room. I would hate for your health or life to be compromised, and I think you would too.
I really hope that you’ll be able to find some things that will work for you as well as some reasons to take care of yourself and keep living. I hope that things will improve for you.
Like the person before me I do the breastfeeding thing with my boyfriend. Only difference is I have no maternal feelings, I actually HATE children. I see him as a child. When I broke up with him he acted very childishly, ignoring my existance, taunting, threw a tantrum or two from what I've heard since. I ended up back with him. Now I'm finding that I can't stand him cause it's either sexual or me acting motherly. He's a needy child with the intelligence of a man. How do I break up with him?
I think that you really just need to make him fully aware of how you see him. Either he doesn’t realize how he comes across, or he doesn’t care. In either case, he can change, but it’s up to him, of course, and if he isn’t willing, then you shouldn’t stick around.
It sounds like you’re just exhausted, though, and want to break up with him rather than try to work things out…at least, that is what I am getting from your message.
Really, I think that you should just be straight-forward and honest with him. Tell him exactly why you want to break up and why you’re tired of the relationship. Be honest without being mean, of course, and just tell him that you no longer want to pursue the relationship. Especially in this case, as you said that he’s very childish and needy, it’s very important to be as direct as you can be. Don’t beat around the bush or try to skirt the issues. Let him know exactly where you stand and what you want to do (break up, in this case). If you are too vague, he might try to exploit that and make it harder for you to break up with him…though any break-up is difficult.
I wish you luck and hope that you’ll be able to break up with him successfully and in a way that hurts both of you the least.
Every year, all around the country, Out of the Darkness community walks are held. Funds raised by those participating in the walk are donated to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, “the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing…
I love to 'breastfeed' my boyfriend. I don't actually have milk but I hold him and let him suckle gently on my breasts to comfort him and calm him when he's stressed. It fulfills this motherly need I have as well as helps him be comforted because he didn't get enough care as a child. It's not at ll sexual for either of us. Do you think it's bad/weird?
I don’t think that this is a bad thing, no. It’s not something I’ve ever engaged in or thought about engaging in, so I can’t say anything personally, but I don’t think that it’s a bad thing.
"Weird"? Maybe, though that’s such a subjective word that it’s hard to say.
The logic behind it makes sense. He didn’t get enough care/support as a child, and doing this makes him feel loved and comforted.
The only thing I wonder about is whether or not it’s a good thing that you’re basically acting as a mother figure for him. The way you’re going about showing this care and support is what makes me wonder. It’s good that you are showing the care and support, as that’s what significant others should do for each other, but the way you’re going about it is a bit different, and it’s very obviously reminiscent of a mother and a child. Does he see you as a mother? If so, that might not be a good thing since you’re supposed to be his girlfriend…and, conversely, do you see him as a child? If so, that also might not be a good thing.
It’s really not my place, nor anyone else’s, to judge others on what they do on their own time with their own friends and significant others. What you’re doing doesn’t affect anyone else. I do wonder about how it affects both of you, though.
If you honestly feel no problems after doing this or if it doesn’t negatively affect the way you see each other, then, honestly, I don’t really think that it’s a bad thing.
If it starts to make things change or if you start seeing him as a child (and/or if he starts to see you as a mother), then maybe it’d be a good idea to reconsider it.
Hey, I messaged you quite a while ago, mentioning that i went to a counsellor and was getting help. Well the other day I went to the doctors, and I'm now on 10mg anti-depressents ;c Hopefully they will help. <3
Hello again. =)
I certainly hope that they will help too! It might take a while for them to really work, or perhaps you might have to try a different kind or dosage, as this is quite common when you’re first starting out with trying medications, but I really sincerely hope that you’ll find something that’ll work well for you. I really admire you for seeing the counselor and doctor and for trying the medication. :)
I wish you luck! I’m always here if you ever want to talk about anything again. :)
So, I stumbled across you. I was wondering if you could help me. I have been extremely suicidal for like the past week and a half. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All I can do is think about pills and razor blades. I am having really bad anxiety to the point I feel as though I am going to pass out, and I have been having panic attacks. I don't know what to do. I REALLY want to die, but I know I shouldn't. Help, please?
Hello. =) I certainly would like to try to help.
I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so suicidal and hopeless recently. I know how that has felt for me, and it’s been very unpleasant, so I can imagine how it might feel for you.
It sounds like part of you doesn’t want to die, or else you probably wouldn’t be writing to me, and that’s good. I hope that part of you can be the stronger, more dominant one. I know that it can. You just have to search inside of yourself and find that piece and hold on to it.
I know what it’s like to want to die, and I know what it’s like to try to kill yourself. I tried to kill myself once many years ago. For the most part, I am glad that I woke up the next day and am still here. I’m not going to lie to you and pretend like my life suddenly turned into beautiful sunshine and happiness. That’s unrealistic. You have to keep going and work hard, but it’s worth it. I do have my bad days still—-we all do—-but I know that you can get to a better, more stable point.
I would like you to ask yourself a question. You don’t have to give me the response if you don’t want to. Ask yourself this: “What would I miss if I were dead?” Theoretically, what would you miss the most if you were no longer living? The answer to that question should be one of your main motivators.
I think that it’s very important to live for yourself because you’re the only person you’ll always have throughout life. I’m not going to patronize you and tell you to think of your friends or family because this is a lot deeper than that, and living solely for others can often be a recipe for disaster. You have to want to live for yourself, and you have to find the reasons to live for yourself. They might be hard to find, but they are there.
I can’t really say anything that will immediately make you change your mind or feelings or perspective, but I hope that by thinking about some of these things and giving it some deep consideration, you’ll feel better or find some ways to cope with living life.
Life can really suck sometimes. Sometimes it can be really cruel. However, it’s important to not lose sight of the good things or the good times. Just because you’re not having good times right now doesn’t mean that you’ll never have good times again. That’s definitely not true. :) We all just go through some phases and cycles, and it sounds like right now you’re in a low spot. I know that it can pass, though. It might take some time, but it will pass. All things eventually pass or change.
It’s really up to you. I hope that you can find some reasons that can motivate you and push you to keep going. Even if they are very small or seemingly insignificant, they are good enough. Sometimes all that keeps me going is mere curiosity about the world and life. Sometimes that’s all that gets me out of bed in the mornings…that or obligation. It’s enough, though.
The fact that you’re having a lot of bad anxiety and panic attacks is worrying, and it makes me think that you’d perhaps benefit by reaching out to someone, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or eventually a professional. Perhaps if some of these symptoms were alleviated or managed better, you’d feel better and therefore less suicidal. I really would recommend talking to someone in your life. If you are interested in seeking help, I think that’d be a good idea as well. There are some really effective methods and medications out there for things like anxiety, and perhaps they could benefit you. It’s worth a shot, right?
If you are ever feeling some serious suicidal urges or just need someone, please don’t hesitate to talk to someone in your life…or call a helpline or get yourself to the Emergency Room. I would hate for your life to be compromised or ended in any way, and I think that you would too. Even though you want to die sometimes, I think that you still want to live, or else you wouldn’t bother. Most people who are suicidal or commit suicide don’t actually want to die—-they just want the bad things in life to stop and they feel like the bad things can’t stop, but they can. Sometimes that involves asking for a supportive shoulder or for some help, and there really is no shame in that.
I really hope that you’ll do some thinking and find some things that will work for you and motivate you to keep going. I also hope that, if you choose to talk to someone, that it’ll go well. I really do recommend that.
Not really a question, more of praise. Thanks for liking my post from last night, and I Really think this blog is amazing. The url in and of itself is great, let alone the posts you have. I'm glad that there are people in this world and on tumblr that are willing to help as best they can, even if it's not official professional help. :)
Thank you so much! I really appreciate hearing this. I am so happy that you feel this way, and I am glad to be here for everyone, honestly. :)
I’m always here for you if you ever want to talk about anything!
My boyfriend of a year and 2 months left me.. and he blames every bad thing that happened on me.. and he keeps telling me he'll do things like let me come over and hang out with him or talk to him on skype if I do things for him. but he's ALWAYS lying. I do whatever he wants and he just takes back the deal. Its not fair.. I just want him back so badly.. Sorry for wasting your time. :/
Hello. =) You’re not wasting my time at all—don’t worry about that.
I’m sorry that he’s been lying to you and manipulating you like that.
Honestly, from what you’ve given to me, I really feel like you don’t deserve that. I know that you say that you want him back really badly, but it sounds like now he’s just causing you nothing but pain, disappointment, and anguish. You likely still love the guy you first fell for, but it sounds like he’s changed. It sounds like he’s become very manipulative, which is never a good thing.
I would really recommend just cutting him out of your life. It doesn’t sound like he’s going to change any time soon, and you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. It sounds like it’s just bringing you down, and understandably so.
I can’t tell you what to do, and it’s up to you, of course…I just hope that you’ll see through this manipulation and break away from him sooner rather than later.
I know that it’s hard, and I know that you still have some feelings for him, but sometimes you have to do the hard thing. Sometimes doing the hard thing is doing the best thing. It may not seem like that right now, but I’m sure once you move past the situation after a few months, you’ll feel a little differently.
Try to focus more on other people and things in your life…focus on other people who make you happy and don’t lie to you or manipulate you.
I really hope that you’ll give it some consideration.
Are you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.
Call for yourself or someone you care about
Free and confidential
A network of more than 150 crisis centers nationwide
Here is a prevention hotline. Please do not be afraid to call if you are feeling in the least bit suicidal. You can also find other hotlines through the website provided. This is the national hotline number, but there are local hotlines as well. You can use this as a resource. The people who answer the phones are trained to manage people in crisis. I understand if you have a fear of calling, but if the person you reach is not beneficial you can always hang up and go to the hospital.
Well that bandana thing won't work, cause like the cuts cover my whole entire arm, On both sides, And yeah i usally do just deal with it meaning the heat, And okay i have another question, I find it more comfotable talking about self harm to random people, and like my best freind self harms, and im afriad to talk to her about it, Is that like normal ?
Yeah, my arm is similar, which is why I tend to stick to long sleeves. Would the make-up work for you?
I understand. It’s easier to talk to people you don’t really know or don’t really know well about things like self-harm because you don’t have to face them as often, and you’re not so concerned about their opinion of you changing. Talking about heavy issues like this with people who are very close to you tends to be more difficult because you see them more often, care about them more, and worry how they’ll react to your confessions.
I do hope that you can talk to your best friend sometime, though. I think that you could both support each other. I have an ex-boyfriend who used to self-harm, and we supported each other and talked about it with each other, and it made both of us feel a lot better. It was weird at first, yeah, but it became easier and it was really helpful having that outlet…having someone who understands and cares, so that’s why I hope you’ll be able to talk to your best friend about it sometime. I understand why you’re afraid, though.
How exactly do you tell your parents that you are a self harmer? I sort of want to but i'm scared to death that they'll be really mad at me or get stressed out more than they already are... I feel like they need to know but I also feel like I just can't tell them..
It’s very hard to tell anyone about self-harm, but it might be the hardest to talk about it with your parents.
I told my mom once a few years ago. She hasn’t been very supportive, but I felt better after telling her. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, and it was just nice to for once say it out loud, especially because I’d been hiding it for so long.
I understand why you’re scared. We can’t know exactly how they’ll react, and we pretty much assume the worst and make up the worst-case scenarios in our heads.
Yeah, they likely will be stressed out and worried, but that’s only because they care about you and want what’s best for you. I imagine that they will want you to feel better and get help if that’s what you’re looking for.
It’s scary and hard to prepare for, but I would recommend talking to them. It does sound like you want to tell them but you’re just afraid to, which is completely normal and understandable.
I think that you should just figure out everything you want to say first. If that means writing it out beforehand, then do so. Sometimes people freeze up during stressful conversations, so having it written out could help you. I would recommend warning them that you’d like to talk so they can sit down and not be distracted. Just be as blunt as you can, but feel free to be as vague or as specific as you want to be. If you want help (either of a professional nature or just support from your parents), that would be a good time to ask for it.
I wish you luck if you do end up talking to them and I really hope that it’ll turn out okay.
Hiya, I need some advice, Im going to my dad's tommorow and its always really really hot down there, I started cutting again a few weeks ago after stopping for some time, My parents dont let me wear braclets, because they know i Used to cut alot when i was younger, so what should i do....
I’m sorry to hear that you started cutting again a few weeks ago. It’s very good that you were able to stop for a while, though, and I hope that you were proud of yourself.
Since you mentioned bracelets, I assume that your cuts/scars are near your wrists. In that case, I would recommend wearing any sort of fashionable arm-warmers. You could tie a bandana around the area of the cuts. You could try putting make-up (concealer, foundation) on the cuts if they aren’t too raised. You could wear long sleeves, even though that is undesirable due to the hot temperatures. I tend to tough it out in long sleeves all summer long, so I know how unpleasant it is, but it’s still an option if you can’t think of anything else. You could try putting band-aids over them and coming up with an excuse. You could try getting an ACE bandage/elastic bandage from a drug store or from Wal-Mart and saying that you hurt your wrist.
I don’t condone lying and I also feel a little weird sometimes when I give advice on how to hide cuts because I feel like I’m enabling people; however, I know that people can only share things like self-harm when they are ready, and it doesn’t sound like you are ready yet, and I respect that. I do hope that someday you’ll want to reach out and talk to someone in your life about your self-harm and whatever may be driving you to self-harm, but I understand it if you’re not ready yet.
I wish you luck and hope that you’ll be able to enjoy going to your dad’s.
I’m always here if you ever want to talk again. :)
“For too many victims - both adults and children - have lacked adequate support and, out of despair, have killed themselves. We can’t afford to lose more. We can’t afford to lose you. You deserve to live.”—The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis (via healingquotes)
Right now someone is self-harming. Right now someone is thinking about taking their own life. Right now someone is suffering an emotional breakdown. Right now someone is going to the extremes to alter their body and/or weight. Right now someone is giving in to an addiction. Right now someone is actually ending their life. Whenever you think that you are alone, you aren't. I, along with many others on tumblr, care and am here for all of you. Please don't be afraid to reach out.
SUICIDE VS SELF-INJURY: Most self-injurers do not harm themselves with the intention of committing suicide. Conversely, they see self-mutilation as a way of keeping themselves alive. Self-harm, for those who do it, is often a method of coping with emotional stress.
WARNING SIGNS: Though self-injury is characterized as an attention-seeking behavior, this is a falsehood. Most self-injurers take great pains to hide their scars and rarely seek medical attention. People who self-injure often avoid situations in which they are expected to wear revealing clothing (e.g., pool parties), and may have frequent stories about accidentally hurting themselves.
I've been struggling with self harm and depression for a while...a med I tried back in March made me completely suicidal so I'm on something different. I got to be a little better for a while then started back downhill these last 2, maybe 3 months. Anyways, it was taking a toll on both me and my amazingly supportive boyfriend. I made a choice about two weeks ago to act fine and ultimately be finem and I mostly have. But right now I feel blank, not numb, just nothing. I don't want this again...
I’m sorry that you’ve been struggling for a while and I’m sorry that you’re feeling very numb right now. I know where you’re coming from when you’re describing that blank, numb feeling. It’s one of the worst for me, I must say.
Since you mentioned medication, I am assuming that you’ve visited either with a mental health professional or a physician before. If so, I would really recommend talking to them again about how you’re feeling right now. They can try to help you and offer some solutions. Sometimes it takes a long time to find a medication (or a combination of medications) that’ll work for you. Often people will have to try many different ones before they find the one that works best for them. Maybe that’s what’s happening to you. Perhaps you need your medication altered (either completely or the dosage changed). The only way to find out would be to talk to a professional of some sort, and I would really recommend that.
Perhaps what you’re experiencing now is just a phase that will pass. If you are hesitant to visit with a professional, then maybe you could wait it out for a little longer, but if this persists, then I really, really would recommend visiting with a professional. In the meantime, just try not to isolate yourself. Get out of the house as much as you can. See your boyfriend as well as other people. Take good care of your body as well. Keep your schedule full and try to get enough sleep. I know that it’s tempting to just isolate and withdraw from everything, but I really would urge you to not do that. Even if you are feeling numb right now and aren’t really feeling much of a benefit by doing things and staying active, it’ll be better for you in the long run.
I really hope that this will pass for you soon, but if it doesn’t seem to be letting up within a couple of weeks, I really would urge you to speak to a professional of some sort and try to see if you can get it sorted out, whether by trying new (or a different dosage) medication or by doing some talk therapy or something along those lines. I hope that you will want to reach out if this does persist.
Thank you so so much. <3 It's only day 2 and I'm having a freak out because I don't think I can handle my AP Lang class and Anatomy but I'm going to def. try those tips. :3
I understand! I’ve had similar freak-outs early on in the school year as well before, so I get where you’re coming from. The thing that has worked the best for me over the years is just staying organized. If you let yourself fall behind too much, it’s hard to get caught up, so I try hard to never fall behind too much, and it tends to work out okay. Having a daily planner/calendar where you can write down all of your assignments is really, really helpful for that. :]
I wish you luck! I hope that you’ll also have fun this year. =)